How to Cook Up Mental Fitness: A Recipe for Success in the Hospitality Industry

A 3 min read.

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Picture your mind as an eclectic, bustling restaurant that never closes shop. Throughout the day, tables are filled with a diverse clientele of thoughts - the good, the bad, the ugly. 

No VIP reservations, no dress code, the door is always ajar. 

But there's a unique group - a set of regulars that are incredibly persuasive, constantly demanding your attention. Known as Negative Thoughts, these “guests” have a way of dominating the ambience if left unchecked. 

Allow me to introduce you to these 9 unwelcome guests so you can think about how they show up in your “restaurant”:

The People Pleaser 

The owner who is always looking to make others happy, often neglecting their own needs. How do you manage these thoughts? Start by setting boundaries. Saying 'yes' to everything might win short-term points, but it's detrimental to long-term relationships and your own well-being. Ensure you are saying ‘no’ to something before you say ‘yes’ to something else.

The Hyper Achiever 

Visualize the ambitious chef, tirelessly chasing that elusive Michelin star. The antidote for them? Balance. Learn to appreciate every dish well prepared, every small victory scored. Each dish, each day brings you one step closer to your star. Make time daily or weekly to slow down and recognize the wins from the week; celebrate those clean plates coming back from the kitchen and the ‘compliments to the chef’ coming from the dining room.

When you are ready to discover how these “guests” are holding you back from being more successful, let’s connect.

The Avoider

The manager whose motto is 'Out of sight, out of mind.' Confrontation becomes their kryptonite. The solution? Practice. Confrontation gets easier with every difficult conversation you dare to initiate. Think about what you want for the person on the other end of the conversation so you have clear goals on what you want to communicate. Also, think about what you want the relationship to look like on the other side of that conversation and always start with empathy.

The Controller

Perhaps a maître d' who insists on overseeing every reservation, every seating arrangement. The remedy? Trust and delegation. Let your team handle some tables - they might surprise you. The more control you let go of, the more you help people grow. Let your teams shine and their voices get louder!

The Victim

Ever met a sous chef who feels the Head Chef has it out for them? The counter is accountability. Burnt the sauce? Overcooked the steak? Own up to it, learn and let's get you back to the station. Challenge your team to think about how they want to show up as a leader everyday, the impact they can make and what they can control. Put the focus on them and not others.

These were the cutest villians I could find ;)

The Hyper Vigilant 

Resembling the ever-anxious restaurant owner, always fearing that one bad Yelp review. The fix is mindfulness. Root yourself in the present moment, attend to the many satisfied customers dining right now. Living like this is challenging, but you can change your course by acknowledging and confronting these thoughts. Ensure your decisions are grounded in facts.

The Hyper Rational

Picture the manager who values cold logic over spicy emotions. How to balance them? Empathy. Every kitchen mishap can be a lesson if tackled with understanding and empathy. Treat your managers like humans and you will show them how to do the same for their team. Challenge them to be vulnerable.

The Restless

The ever-busy bartender, juggling all tasks at once. Prioritize, make one cocktail at a time. Show this employee how to slow down, take a step back and look at the entire restaurant. This will allow them to see the big picture and identify what needs to be adjusted, corrected or cleaned up before moving onto the next task.

The Stickler

Think of a pastry chef, obsessed with each dessert looking Instagram-worthy, dreading the slightest imperfection. The solution? Acceptance. The soufflé will sometimes fall, the éclair may not always have the perfect glaze. It's okay, there's always another batch. Set the tone for your team that failure is encouraged and a great opportunity to learn so you can do it better the next time.

Making tiny shifts to your thought process will save you time, frustration, resentment and energy. Find out how here.

Acknowledging these regulars at your '’restaurant’' is just the first course of your mental fitness meal. The main course is learning to manage them, to find that sweet spot between being overwhelmed and maintaining a harmonious dining experience in your restaurant of thoughts. 

Let’s start a conversation about learning how to quiet these negative thoughts so you can have better work-life balance.

As you start making these subtle shifts, you'll notice a ripple effect. 

• Stress levels start dropping like a poorly performing item off the menu. 

• Seamless communication flows through your team, like a perfectly timed kitchen during peak hours. 

• Productivity soars, akin to a smooth, busy service on a Saturday night. 

• Job satisfaction saturates the atmosphere, like the inviting aroma of a delectable dish. 

The benefits seep out of the kitchen, reaching your patrons - their satisfaction, their repeat visits, their positive reviews lighting up your online presence. That's the power of a mentally fit hospitality business.

P.S.

Whenever you are ready, here are several additional ways I provide daily support to hospitality leaders.

• Calling all restaurant owners and operators!!! The No Hesitations Leadership Podcast is here. There is no time like the present to listen in and level up your leadership. Click here to subscribe or follow.

• If you are a restaurant owner looking for a strategic partner to scale your business, retain and develop your managers, let's connect. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com or you can even text me at 719-494-6074.

(Rest assured, I won't attempt to sell you anything.)

• If you are a hospitality leader looking to level up and position yourself for career advancement without sacrificing work-life balance, let’s start a conversation. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com

• Each week, I provide hospitality leaders with valuable tools and resources to shift from surviving to thriving by embracing mental fitness. Subscribe to my newsletter below to receive these helpful tips directly in your inbox.

Love, Christin

How to Show Up as a Leader when Something Terrible is Happening

A 1 min read.

Watching the news in recent days has been incredibly difficult. The reports of families being tragically affected and brutal acts like beheadings are something I find it challenging to come to terms with emotionally. In the past, I would often choose to numb my emotions or simply switch off the news.

However, this morning, I took a different approach. I dedicated 10 minutes to a peaceful meditation session with my Peloton community, focusing on sending love and peace to the world. 

I've heard that today is supposedly a global day marked by hate, but I'm unsure of how to react or prepare for it emotionally. What I'm experiencing today is a mix of fear and a strong desire to contribute something positive to the world, even if it feels somewhat self-indulgent.

This situation reminds me of my experiences leading teams during the pandemic. At times, I felt utterly helpless, yet I had to show up every day to support others. Today, I still have that desire to support and lead, but I also realize that as a leader, I don't have to possess all the answers, and that's perfectly okay.

 It's essential during time like these that we grant ourselves some grace during moments like these and take the time to process our own emotions as well as the emotions our teams may be sharing with us.

I opened my inbox today to find a generous gift to 2 books sent to me by a dear friend (thanks Adam). This is what humanity is all about, serving others. I would challenge everyone reading this to spread love today (and everyday) and perform a random act of kindness. 

Peace and love to everyone who is suffering during this challenging time in our world. 

Unlocking the Secret to Introverted Success: What Deion Sanders Can Teach Us

A 2 min read.

Tyler and I have never really been college football fans but this year has been a little different. The buzz surrounding Deion Sanders and his role with the CU Buffs this season is undeniable.

What's particularly intriguing is the revelation that Deion, a renowned figure in the world of sports, is actually an introvert. He's managed to transform himself from a quiet country boy into the larger-than-life persona we know as "Prime," and this journey offers valuable insights for introverts like us.

From a quiet country boy to "Prime," Deion Sanders crafted an alter ego that propelled him onto the grandest stages imaginable. It's intriguing to see how he, someone who prefers solitude and despises crowds, willingly steps into the spotlight each week, basking in the cheers of tens of thousands of fans, with every move under intense scrutiny throughout his career.

Now, you might wonder how this connects to the life of an introvert in a different domain, like the restaurant business. Well, the truth is, it can be incredibly demanding. In the hospitality industry, you're expected to be "on" all the time, attending to customers, managing staff, and ensuring everything runs smoothly. For those of us that are introverts, this can be very draining.

Let’s start a conversation about how to find work-life balance in the hospitality industry.

I'm also an introvert, and throughout my hospitality career, I've had to acquire the skill of tapping into my extroverted side when engaging with tables, conducting staff meetings, or hosting private events. Making small talk with strangers has consistently been a source of discomfort and exhaustion for me. However, I've come to realize that if I redirect my focus towards connecting with the person right in front of me, rather than dwelling on how draining it can be, I often leave those conversations feeling more invigorated. It's amusing to consider that my extroverted persona could be seen as an alter ego, although I've never really thought of it that way.

After my shifts, I found it beneficial to take 20-30 minutes to unwind and recharge. This could involve sitting quietly in my car on the drive home, requesting 20 minutes of solitude from Tyler upon arriving home for a shower and some personal time, or even taking a brief 20-minute nap. These activities helped me replenish my energy, allowing me to be more attentive to Tyler, friends, and family after work and on my days off.

Discover ways to protect your energy by connecting with me

As an introvert, it's crucial to prioritize self-care and recharging. Just as you expend energy in social interactions and demanding roles, you must also invest time in replenishing your inner reserves. Deon Sanders' ability to navigate the world of sports while staying true to his introverted nature reminds us that we, too, can find our balance and thrive in our chosen fields by understanding our needs and making adjustments when necessary.

P.S.

Whenever you are ready, here are several additional ways I provide daily support to hospitality leaders.

• If you are a restaurant owner looking for a strategic partner to scale your business, retain and develop your managers, let's connect. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com or you can even text me at 719-494-6074.

(Rest assured, I won't attempt to sell you anything.)

• If you are a hospitality leader looking to level up and position yourself for career advancement without sacrificing work-life balance, let’s start a conversation. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com

• Each week, I provide hospitality leaders with valuable tools and resources to shift from surviving to thriving by embracing mental fitness. Subscribe to my newsletter below to receive these helpful tips directly in your inbox.

How to Boost Your Bottom Line

A 2 min read.

My client encountered a challenging situation involving an employee who consistently neglected customer service in favor of side work tasks. Instead of assisting guests when lines formed, this employee would hurriedly attend to stocking duties. 

This behavior had a detrimental impact, resulting in longer wait times, disgruntled guests, and an overburdened team forced to compensate for their colleague's shortcomings. Despite the employee's relatively short tenure with the company, my client faced a crucial decision: whether to invest in their improvement or terminate their employment. 

The avoider mindset had really settled in with my client, making her put off a crucial talk. But as tensions kept rising within the team, trust was slipping away, and it was time for some action. After tossing around a few ideas, including the eye-opening fact that employee turnover was costing around $4,000 each, she decided to give the employee a chance to step up.

Together, we hashed out a plan to get her ready for the conversation. The goal was to approach it with a mix of understanding and firmness, showing empathy while making the company's expectations crystal clear.

Let’s connect about the crucial conversation have you been putting off that is negativity impacting your business.

Within each of us resides a character known as the "Avoider," shaped by our childhood experiences, be they happy or challenging. In a blissful upbringing, we may not have developed the resilience to handle difficult emotions. Conversely, in a high-conflict childhood, the Avoider may have emerged as a peacemaker, learning to avoid adding further negativity or tension to existing family disputes.

The Avoider Saboteur has a tendency to excessively focus on the positive and shies away from challenging conversations, unpleasant tasks, and conflicts.

In our daily lives, the Avoider manifests in the following ways:

1. Avoids conflict and reluctantly agrees to things they don't truly desire.

2. Minimizes the significance of genuine problems and tries to divert attention elsewhere.

3. Struggles to decline requests or say no.

4. Seeks solace in familiar routines and habits.

The Avoider's thoughts and emotions typically revolve around these notions:

1. Belief that avoiding the issue will somehow resolve it on its own.

2. Fear that engaging in conflict might jeopardize important relationships.

3. Increasing anxiety due to the accumulation of unresolved matters.

The impact of the Avoider on oneself and others includes:

1. Inhibiting the opportunity to address and transform conflicts into valuable lessons.

2. Allowing unresolved issues to persist and worsen over time.

3. Maintaining superficial relationships with family and colleagues through conflict avoidance.

4. Eroding trust among others, as they become uncertain about the withholding of negative information.

When you are ready to face your avoider head on, I can help.

Here are 3 ways you can manage your Avoider:

Self-Awareness

Start by recognizing when your avoider saboteur is active. Pay attention to the situations, emotions, and thoughts that trigger avoidance behaviors. Self-awareness is the first step toward managing any saboteur.

Identify Underlying Fears

The avoider saboteur often stems from underlying fears, such as fear of failure, rejection, or criticism. Try to pinpoint the specific fears that drive your avoidance tendencies. Understanding the root cause can help you address them more effectively.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Avoider saboteurs often feed on negative self-talk and self-doubt. Whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying things like, "I can't do this" or "I'm not good enough," challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. Replace them with positive affirmations.

Remember that managing your avoider saboteur is an ongoing process, and it's okay to have setbacks. Be patient with yourself and stay committed to your personal growth and development. Over time, you can learn to manage and minimize the influence of your avoider saboteur and achieve your goals more effectively.

Start recognizing and managing your Avoider by connecting with me, here.

P.S.

Whenever you are ready, here are several additional ways I provide daily support to hospitality leaders.

• If you are a restaurant owner looking for a strategic partner to scale your business, retain and develop your managers, let's connect. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com or you can even text me at 719-494-6074.

(Rest assured, I won't attempt to sell you anything.)

• If you are a hospitality leader looking to level up and position yourself for career advancement without sacrificing work-life balance, let’s start a conversation. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com

• Each week, I provide hospitality leaders with valuable tools and resources to shift from surviving to thriving by embracing mental fitness. Subscribe to my newsletter below to receive these helpful tips directly in your inbox.